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(I HAVEN'T PROOF READ BUT HOPE YOU GET THE WHOLE IDEA OF IT) Hey everyone my real name is Albert Jarell Diaz. I've lived in Queens and lived in about a million different places in the Bronx. Growing up wasn't as bad as others but some of the things I've witnessed somehow...corrupted me. I don't remember my mom and father even being together. All I do remember is my mom meeting a man afterwards who abused her. I think around that time was when I started thinking very dark and slighty crazy thoughts. I wanted to hurt him,I wanted him to get what he deserved and I wanted him dead. When my mother finally got rid of that piece of shit, it seemed like our life would become easier and beautiful again. Of course it never works out that way. My mom went through so much...but even with all the struggles and heartache my mom,my brother and I had, she always managed to keep us happy My mom struggled to even keep an apartment. Every new school year I was moving from school to school,house to house. I couldn't make those friends that you grow up with. I had friends and the next minute I was gone. It was really hard. In about the summer of 1999 my father offered me to live with him in Queens. Honestly it was no doubt the hardest desicion I ever made my whole entire life. I was only 12 and i barely even saw my father. But when I did see him,it was like the highlight of my life everytime. As summer was ending and school was starting,my mom sat and had a talk with me. She cried and cried and how she wanted me to stay, but she was also aware of why I wanted to go. She woulld be able to afford more things and take care of my younger brother whos father never supported him. So a week before school started I was gone. My first year in school in Queens was a living nightmare! I did horrble and wasn&..39;t used to the environment what so ever. When my second school year in Queens hit..my father did a complete 360. He took absolutely everytrhing from me. I couldn't watch TV,rarely hear music anything! I couldn't even read the books I wanted to read.He did it for another two years and I decided I'm gone! I went back to my mom. I hated my father at the time. It was so bad I even wished he got in a car acident so he wouldn't pick me up from my mothers house!(I KNOW THATS AWFUL) When I graduated from middle school, I thought about every school before it. And realized HOLY SHIT....I don't remember a thing. It hurt me so much. My new friends had memories from way back with their recent friends and I had nothing to go by. I got upset and felt like I didn't really deserve to celebrate with these kids. High school came...I loved high school to death!! I had great grades,(OK GRADES IN MATH)i passed my classes. Until...sophmore year hit. During this time I was stressed out from school,my mom,my father,my money and me simply not wotking. I was in a locker room getting ready for my next class and a member of gang hit me upside the head with my own glove. He turned on a switch I didn't even know I had. I chased him down and threw him into a corner. Now I swear I don't remember what happened afterwards,but I remember looking at someone who looked almost dead. He had a bloddy face 3 broken teeth and couldn't get up. I was pulled back by cops and security. I stared at my knuckles and saw blood pouring out my hands. I cried and realized what I did. I filled out police reports and other bullshit papers. When I came back to school,the guys best friend talked about killing me and fucking me up and ETC. I heard it,went home and decided....TO DROP OUT! My mom agreed with it and my father didn't. My father thought it wasn't right and thought those years I spent in school was a waste. Honestly I agreed. Even though he was pissed off, he always supported me through everything! So my mom said she would help me through schools and find a place where I can take my GED. She helped me once and left me to rot. I asked her over and over again...and she always forgot to help me when I needed it. I went looking for schools and places whre I can just take it. I wasnt making any progress until the summer of 2005 hit. I found my school and found a place where I can take my GED when I finished my prep classes. Everything was going well..school was good,life was good,work was great,I couldn't complain. I then got schedruled to take my GED test on january 18th two days before my b-day. When the day came I was excited and more ready then I can ever be. I got to the school it was reschedruled for another month. I waited and another month! Then an other. It got to the point I came home crying and almost felt suicidal. The day finally came! It was gorgeous outside,I was feeling real good and I was in such a good mood. Honestly I didn't know why. I took it went home and VOMITED!!OMG I was sick for like a whole week. Only because I couldnt picture my self taking that test again. One month goes by and the mail comes....I ACED IT ON MY FIRST TRY! My mom and father were both there to witness it. I never was so happy in my life. I stared at it pinched myself. I didn't want to cry because my wimp father"LOL" was crying. but when I got home...I cried happy tears. Like wow it's finally over! It was no doubt the greatest day of my life. So I've came with a conclusion. Maybe it's good we experience the good,the bad and the ugly. So if we face it more then once we know how to deal with it. My father treated me the way he did because he loved me and only wanted the best. What's weird about that is that, I never thought of that until recently. My mom in the other hand is just still living in the past instead if just moving on. But that's something only she can fix. She wasn't fortunate like others. My father is now settled on one job not 8!(LoL)And my mother has marriied one of the greatest man I have ever met. He now supports my brother and has a daughter(MY SiSTER)Miranda with my mother. Everything still seems a bit rocky...Life is getting much better but my dark thoughts will forever remain TO BE CONTINUED.....